I've mentioned this before, but I am certainly not much of a blogger. I feel like it's rare that I have time to sit down and just type out how I am feeling, when in reality I have more time that I really know what to do with. I mean really, in the last week I've had time to golf 3x, play poker for 20 hours or so, go bowling, go to a Clipper's game, talk with family, etc. So I figured why not make a little time to jot down some thoughts?

So I had a deep run in the LAPC Main Event that ended in a disappointing 23rd place finish when my AK lost to AT aipf for a nearly double avg chip pot to send me to the rail (pretty much). I then went up to Bay 101 and busted for a 50bb pot with AJ to QT. I certainly don't blame the guy for calling since I was a bounty. I'm not bitter about it at all. In fact, I am not posting this to explain my bad beats to anyone, but I am posting because of how I felt afterwards. I would normally be tilted as can be, but I wasn't. I usually tilt much more when I make bad plays, not when I play well and get unlucky. I then went and played some cash games at the Player's Casino in Ventura and lost an additional $12k in 2 sessions. Again, I did this without really batting an eye. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was certainly upset about the loss. However, compared to big losses prior to this, these didn't affect me one bit.

Now I am wondering why I am feeling this way. Maybe it's because I am married with my first son only weeks away and I am living in a beautiful house near Santa Barbara. How can I complain about life? Or maybe it's because I've saved up enough to make me comfortable to handle these downswings. I'm pretty low maintenance and can afford all that I need in this world, so maybe I just don't care quite as much as I used to about a loss. Maybe it's because I owe back a few "Skalansky bucks" to the poker community from my 42o hand at Epic. Or maybe I really have gotten pretty close to the point that poker players are supposed to be at where you look at everything as a part of a "long run" game. Whatever it is, it was pretty calming in a way. I think it's probably a combination of all of the above in reality. But really though, since moving to Vegas in 2003 with only $6k saved up to "gamble" with, I've done very well for myself. I've always had money to spend for whatever the occasion was. After playing poker full time for close to 9 years now, I have grown to realize that this will most likely be the case for me.

Now I hate to sound self-absorbant, but I realize that it is impossible to describe these feelings without sounding that way. Don't get me wrong, I am proud of what I have accomplished. I have always been taught growing up that you should let your actions speak for themselves, though, so writing about this is even tough for me. Part of me wants to tell the world that I am the best; while another part of me wants to downplay my accomplishments. There's a reason why I don't like to post my poker results on my facebook page. I don't really want to rub in a big win to friends from home that are working by the hour. The same thing holds true for the whole stealthmunk issue. I badly wanted to get on the forums and just tell him to sit back and learn or say let's just compare money won from poker. Part of me did succumb to that temptation, but the other part of me just sat back and let him rant on about his bad luck. Like one of my best friends told me, "When it comes to poker, some people just get it!"

I know my thoughts are pretty much all over the map, but I can't help myself. My friend made a comment to me the other day that made me think about things. I was walking by him at the poker table just going to grab a drink. He said, "Hey Joe, what's up?" I jokingly responded, "Just living the dream." He then said, "It's funny that you say that as a joke when you really are!" I guess to some people my life seems that way. It probably seems that way to a lot of people actually, but everyone has issues in life that they have to deal with. However, from strictly a financial standpoint, I do feel that this is the case for me. I get to play cards for a living, and I make good money at it. Gambling and playing poker provides me with a comfortable lifestyle as well as a great form of entertainment that I really enjoy. I guess that's why if I get into an argument with my wife, I always tell her not to sweat the small stuff, because things could definitely be worse! 

That's a wrap for me for now. We just did a poker radio show on quadjacks radio and it was a good time. I am excited about working more and more with Stackem in the future. I want to be able to give a little back to the poker community. I want to help the people who don't really "get it" to be able to get better at poker. I also want to help guys who do "get it" to work on staying sharp and show them how to improve in every situation. Poker has been great to me and I am looking forward to helping those who are trying to learn.